We all have been through bad relationships and bad break ups. Some of which seem to hurt forever. You spend your days (and long nights) thinking of what could have been. You will give anything to get back together with them. When people tell you "It's gonna be alright.." it makes it even worse because well, it just doesn't seem real.
You think you will never get over that person but then a few months (sometimes years. Yes I know) later you're smirking at your old delusional self....thinking what could have possibly gotten over me to say such unimaginable things?!
We eventually do get them out of our system but sometimes, our friends don't get over them. You have that one friend or two that will call you whenever she runs into your ex and will give you a very detailed encounter - one that you could really do without.
Friends most times let us know whenever they run into our exes but as time goes by all that information just gets fazed out - they get tired of mentioning it, sometimes they even forget to (which makes it better for all parties involved). You try explaining to them that you don't need to know every sordid detail about his life after you but she thinks you're lying, talking about all the good times you had (well yes we HAD some but not anymore...let's move along).
When it has been over 2/3 years since that particular relationship ended but they just won't let it go.
Her "I still remember when you first started going out....you were good together..."
Me "We were obviously in what you call the Honeymoon stage..all relationships go through that somehow"
Her "...don't you ever think of what could've been? I mean, when I see him now it hurts me! I still cannot believe what he did..."
Me ".....
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| What?!.. |
How do you help your friend get over your ex?? Your relationship??
I remember spending one afternoon with the BF and then I received a phone call..
Her"hey!! so I met your man.."
Me [silence] [looks over at BF] "hey..uuum but...how?"
Her "oh you know, Exy. I ran into him at the super market.."
Me "that's great umm....yeah, yeah. You know he's not..--"
Her "of course he was leaving and I went over to say hi...he was with someone else...I just said hi to him...that could've been you...I still pray for both of you...anyway what's up?"
[phone cuts off]
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| Keep calm.....just keep calm |
I sat there in disbelief. Should I return the call? I suddenly felt sorry...she was holding on to something that I had trouble remembering LOL
I returned her call and calmly explained to her (like a couple of thousand times before) that well, he simply wasn't my man anymore like she fondly called him. That I would also pray to God to ignore her prayers regarding that particular thing. That I was at that particular moment spending some quality time with "My Man" and well he would feel offended.
It can be hard to understand why you're friend is refusing (yes that's the word) to let it go but at one point you had the same thoughts about your ex. Seeing him meant all the memories, both good and bad came rushing back and that just pulls you into some sort of emotional hurricane.
When you look back at what you went through to get over it all and realize your friend is just in denial and still has a long way to go before she finally can look at him and not feel like killing a brother.
Hyacintha
xoxo
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